Confessions Of An Overweight Personal Trainer

…that would be me!

I have tossed about between posting and deleting this post I don’t know how many times now, but after much debate, I thought “I need to just put this out there”…I’ve become overweight. This is a really hard post for me to write, to admit that I’m in this state, so please be kind.

Now, you might be thinking “no big deal, we’ve all been there/I’m there too”, but it is a big deal. Let me explain why (this is a long post- be warned)

If you have followed Marley & Lockyer for a while, you might know that I am a Personal trainer, and have been since 1996 (I absolutely don’t look like one here!). I LOVE being able to help others loose weight, get strong, get fast, gain confidence, overcome medical issues – whatever. I just love it, and I have always been in great shape to do so…

Helping one of my Bootcamp Clients
Instructing one of my Zumba day classes
Training at the Martial Arts Club I co founded
Just after I received my Zumba certification with the founding instructor, Tanya Beardsley.

In 2015, you might also know that i donated one of my kidneys to my Husband, Mic. The surgery went perfectly, and my recovery was looking SO good because I was so well, and fit….until I rushed into instructing at the martial arts club after 3 months. I kicked too hard on the bag, and pulled my main surgery scar so badly, it dropped me to the floor in pain (I have a very high threshold for pain), and the next day could barely move.

I followed up with my doctor after a little while as the pain was still there, and sharp…I had caused adhesions. That’s where the layers that they stitched up internally had pulled, and adhered together. So, instead of moving freely like they should, mine weren’t. Just walking fast hurt. So my Dr ordered me to take it easy for a while until it healed properly. That took 3 years until i could walk fast or run without it hurting. Yay! I was fixed again.

That was also when I realised I had put on a LOT of weight. I had every expectation that I would get it off and get myself sorted again…then my Mum became terminally ill and 5 months later passed away. I’ve really struggled with this. We spoke on the phone twice a day…then nothing. I put on more weight just from comfort eating I think, which I’ve never really done before. So this lead me to where I am now… The turning point was when I had new passport photos done recently and realised how round my face has become! This is officially the biggest I have ever been!! I started with 25kgs to loose, and I now have 19 kgs to go. It’s a lot when you’ve always been fit and active. Although my main focus is not so much about weight loss, but regaining my healthy self back.

My biggest issue at the moment has been motivation. I can motivate anyone – it’s my job, and even though I am still actively training clients on top of my creative work with Marley & Lockyer, I just haven’t been able to get out of my own way. It’s a hard thing to put out there when people associate Personal Trainers as these amazing balls of energy with bodies you’d kill for. It makes me very self conscious and self aware.

My next issue is gut health. I have 15 food intolerances in varying degrees. The main ones are dairy, yeast, tomatoes, sulphites, beef, cocoa (like really, who is intolerant to chocolate!) and more….and I have been eating these things over the last few years ( I love food, we have chefs in the family) as I just stopped looking after myself. I’ve always been the one to worry and look after everyone else. It’s just how I am, but I need to look after myself again too.

Ive always been one of those people who has a full medical exam every year, and have done since I was 18. I’m talking the works- kidney, liver, full bloods, hormones etc etc. Always looked after myself. Just not so much the last few years.

Back at my “healthy” weight

So, it has to change. My stomach has been in all sorts of trouble with all of these foods I’m not supposed to be eating in my system, and I need a good cleanse. Ive been researching which type of cleanse I need to do, because it has to be gentle on my stomach, while supporting and repairing it, be safe for me now that I only have one kidney and have been made by people who know what they are doing…and I have found one!

Last week, Zhanna, from Slim By Nature, a fully trained Nutritionist who has been working with a Naturopath to develop this program, phoned me after I had sent an enquiry about the products after reading a lot of great things about them, to chat about what’s going on with me and to work out what’s the best plan of action. We’ve decided on a 60 day cleanse…because, far out, my body needs it badly!

So, while Zhanna and I were talking about my situation, we also decided that it would be a good idea for me to share this journey with you all, because I know of loads of people that I have either trained, or chatted to about health and fitness over my many years in the game that this could help. It’s really putting myself out there though, and I need to get over that. Now even though Zhanna is kindly sponsoring me to do this, I tracked Slim By Nature down first.

This was taken a few months after the surgery at my healthiest weight. I need to get to here again!

So, my kit should hopefully arrive on Monday, and I am SO ready to do this. Ive given myself a timeline to loose this 19kgs – 6 months. We are going to be doing some big hikes in Spring, and I want to be fit enough to make it up the mountain 😂

Ive also worked out my weak times of the day (and a lot of you will probably be this way too – I see it a lot when I’m training clients) about 3:00pm and again at about 8:00-8:30pm. Now, this is those times of the day that you feel a bit flat and crave sugar…it’s a time where your blood sugar drops after lunch time and again, dinner time, depending on what you’ve fueled your body with. So, I’m very aware of this, and I have a few plans of attack to stop this.

Now, I’m going to be sharing this journey with you. You might not be interested in this at all, and that’s fine (you can always unsubscribe), but I would love to have you along, as not only will I share this all with you, I will also share some tips and tricks, exercise tips and things I have learnt training everyone from Mums wanting to get some baby weight off, people with serious health issues to elite athletes, over my nearly 24 years as a Personal Trainer and Fitness Instructor with you.

Don’t worry, I’m not turning into a health blog, but I feel in this fast, stressed world we all live in, where autoimmune conditions seem to be on the rise, that this could help maybe just one person…and I think that’s worth it. Maybe I can help you get your health back on track while I do this?

This was taken 2 weeks ago. My big shoulders have always been great at camouflaging weight

Once I have my kit, and I have conquered the first week, I will post about how I’m going. I dont want to bombard you with this either, but I will do a weekly post as well as a few stories over on my Instagram account as I go as well if you’re interested.

I hope you’ll help support me through this reboot. I’d love to hear your stories too. ~Ness xx

Comments

comments

Comments (15)

  • Bravo Ness. I look forward to watching you achieve your goals. My daughter did the Wimp2Warrior program last year and, while it was exhausting and intense, she enjoyed her 6 months with them. I have my own health problems and have found losing weight extremely difficult so I appreciate what you are trying to do for yourself.

    Reply
    • More than anything I need this to get my health back on track. Aside from my intolerance issues, the more overweight I am, the harder my remaining kidney has to work, and I don’t want to risk that when I’ve always been so health conscious.
      Thank you so much, Kerrie. I really appreciate it xx

      Reply
  • 💖💖

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    • Thanks Rae. Keep your fingers crossed xx

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  • Good for you! It takes a lot to put yourself out there, and I totally support what your doing! I so need to do the same….thanks for the inspiration.

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    • Thank you so much Andrea! I hope it can help you get motivated then too xx

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  • All the best, Ness! I think it’s wonderful that you are doing this program and documenting it. I am looking forward to following your journey. I’m in the same boat.

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    • Thanks Annie. I hope it can help a few people to get motivated. Gut health seems such an issue nowadays, doesn’t it? So if my story prompts someone to do something about theirs, then its all worth it.
      N xx

      Reply
  • My God, as if you aren’t already one of the most amazing, inspirational women I’ve ever met, and then you go and put this personal struggle out there to share with everyone. We are reminded that you are not only an inspirational, gutsy woman but also a completely relatable human being Thank you for sharing the journey with us, Ness. You rock xx

    Reply
    • I don’t know about that, Ciska, but I do hope that my knowledge and experience with health and fitness will be able to encourage someone else to either look into what’s going on with them, or get started. I like to keep it real, but it’s a vulnerable place to go for me too.
      Thank you, lovely xx

      Reply
  • Oh Ness, you are such an inspiring woman in every way. Thank you for sharing this personal journey. You have been through A LOT! Looking forward to your documented return to good health and weight. I’m with you all the way!

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    • Thanks Wendy. I appreciate your support. I’m getting so many emails and messages about this, so hopefully I can motivate others too xx

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  • You can do this Vanessa I was on diet but one I was on didn’t agree with me good luck doll ❤️❤️

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    • Thanks Ann. I’m feeling great with this detox xx

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  • Thank you for sharing such a personal story. You are an inspiration! water damage restoration kansas city

    Reply

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